Stay: Reason to Leave

Just when I think I've made up my mind, you come knocking around my door sheepishly with that sly grin, as if you know I'm going to take to your trap. You flaunt another impossibility in front of my face, forcing the corners of my lips to my eyes as I press my lips together in another attempt to keep control of these runaway feelings. 

I try to convince myself that it's a platonic smile, but I don't present a very good case and the jury's still out. 

I rest my chin in my hand and sigh. For a moment you've made me forget; you're a smooth competitor. Then I remember, you're two sides of the same ocean. Too much.

I wonder if I can ever enter that water again-- the saying "You can never step in the same river twice," I think of it now. The river may not be the same, but I wonder, will the waters be just as lovely? Will they cool and clean and caress me the way they did? Or will they lap up on different shores I've never seen? Will they get lost in the ocean forever, home to bright fishes, covering coral reefs who hide their treasures, glistening under a sun too far west? 

Your words chip and chisel at my granite heart. They give me reason to leave.