The Eyebrows Have It

I'd been suspicious of it for awhile, but didn't want to admit it to myself due to it's sheer oddity; yet I can't deny it any longer. 

You know those get-to-know-you surveys you get at church and sometimes in class *cough* seminary *cough*? Or those get-to-know-you games you play on the first day of camp or during freshman orientation? People always want to get to know me with the question: What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? (You mean, besides the fact that they're the opposite sex, right?) People randomly ask me this even when they aren't trying to know me, as in--after they've known me for a long time--as if this is going to give them some new insight into my life. 

Everyone always tells me my answer is a cop-out. I guess it sort of is. I have heretofore answered this thusly: There are certain features that I like, and if the individual has them, that is what I notice first. 

Well, last night while shamelessly watching 27 Dresses with my friend James Marsden showed me what a lie that answer is. There is, in fact, one feature that I notice first about the opposite sex:

Eyebrows.

I should have known. My first crush had--and still has--strong eyebrows. Part of the reason I am not attracted to blonds? They rarely have good eyebrows. Now, those who don't have strong, well-sculpted eyebrows need not worry. The eyebrows' contribution to the overall character of the face as well as expression are both considered during the evaluation process. 

And I subsequently realized something. All those people who thought they could blow the door wide open on the Paige-psyche with that question were kinda right. You see I soon derived a direct connection between my preference and personality--that is, my appreciation for boldness and expression.

My appreciation for a bold pair of eyebrows mirrors my appreciation bold art, people, actions, music, literature, etc, etc. 

I hate impressionist painting (about the only French-produced thing I can't stand) because it lacks a boldness and conviction. There's no heart in that moment, no passion. Likewise, the angle of an eyebrow puts the passion I'd look for in an individual in every statement.

Really strong, dark eyebrows always attract my attention. I usually don't like them at first--considering them to be unattractive. Yet something about their brashness always wins me over. Similarly, I often find brash people to be quite distasteful--only to have them become my favorites. There is something unabashed about everything they do and say--I appreciate their unapologetic actions. I like people who aren't afraid to strongly be themselves, even when I'm not, and nothing is more impressive than confidence. Confidence is appealing--even on complete punks, who are usually the confident ones. Just as bold eyebrows always attract my attention, so will a bold move on the part of one of these individuals. In fact, I've been known turn down date invitations  and instead feign ignorance because the invitation lacked the boldness of being straight-forward. 

One might also form a link between the eyebrows and my taste in music and literature. When the eyebrows aren't strong, it helps when they are put to good use--properly expressive or contributing to the character of a face. The music and lit doesn't have to be mind-blowingly strong. You don't have to be the best instrumentalist or the strongest creative talent. I just want it to be well-done. I want it to have something distinctive and interesting. I want to be able to identify a group or an author after hearing or reading a portion of their work  because there is something about it that is tainted with them. It might be the use of metaphor or the particular grit of a singer's voice. I want expression in everything I hear and read--a message, a tone, a feeling manifest by diction or instrumentals. 

There are a lot of other qualities that I notice: certain hair-and-eye-color combinations, body-type, even bone-structure. There are also other qualities that I like about everyone and everything in my life; yet, the eyebrows have it. 

I guess that question actually has some validity for getting to know a person; because yes, I did just analyze myself based on what I notice first about the opposite sex. I'll never discredit that question again.